Excitement mixed with a little sadness

We're all packed. I was trying to think "light" as I packed, but somehow my bag still ended up heavy. Oh well. I'm at my apartment right now waiting for M. We are meeting for a final good-bye. I started to get really excited about the trip last night while I was packing, but this morning I'm feeling a little sad about the things I'm going to miss.

I'm going to miss the ability to pick up my cell phone and call my friends and family. My mom and brother really need me right now and I've been talking to them almost every day. Then there is my Precious Pudah who I talk to several times a day, thank goodness she gave me some phone cards. Miss M who is my daily support, lunch buddy, and walking partner. Carrie, Tissa, M and I have a really good girl group going and I'm going to miss Tissa's humor and watching little Ranier grow in Carrie's belly. Of course I'm going to miss Momma and my lovely apartment but she'll be in good hands. The summer heat and bike rides with Chest and Kitty will be missed.

Monday night we had a good bye dinner at Todd's country house. Howard and Carolyn, Steve and Andrea, Todd and Rachale and Goat were all there. It was so much fun, another group of friends that I love and will miss. Everyone brought a dish and we had a lovely dinner in Todd's garden. Rachale was telling me last night how she has always dreamed of going to New Zealand. I wish they were coming with us. Todd has already been there and he was telling me how he packed for his trip in 15 minutes. Crazy!! I couldn't do that.

I am looking forward to seeing my relatives and getting to know them all better. Seeing new sights and relaxing with HB. I'm looking forward to seeing Wyeth and Trina and seeing my cousing Stacy who is living in NZ right now and seeing Bryon's new house. It's going to be great. I hope we are able to keep up this blog now that I've told so many people about it. The next time I write will be from New Zealand.   ¶ 10:50 AM

  iPod Pleasures

Just spent the last hour ripping CDs from M to put onto my iPod for the trip. She gave me this huge album of CDs tonight and told me I must have more music for my trip. I ripped some Lyle Lovett, Be Good Tanyas, The Gourds (we saw them at Live Oak), Lucinda Williams and a few others I'm not remembering at the moment. My iPod still has room for about 500 more songs. I can't believe how many songs fit on that cute little thing.

I love my iPod. For those readers that don't know (I don't know who you would be), I received my iPod last year from Web Associates for being Employee of the Year. It's an item I never would have thought to buy myself. In fact when I opened it in front of my entire company and their guests, I wasn't even exactly sure what it was. I just knew it was something really good because everyone gasped. Anyway, it's been the greatest gift. HB gave me 4 CDs filled with MP3s he has downloaded from the Internet. It's great to listen to at work and in my car because I don't have a CD player in my car. Right now it has 1080 songs on it.

CMonkey came over to M. and I this afternoon and told me I had to get this. Now, that is cool. If only I had seen it sooner I would have convinced myself I needed it for the trip. However, now that it is a few days before we leave and I have bought everything I could possibly think of needing, I couldn't possibly justify another purchase.   ¶ 11:43 PM

  Mystery Solved

Yesterday I returned to my desk from a meeting to find the following little zen saying posted to my wall.

Focus on the present
The past is done
Learn from it
Don't stress about it
The future is undecided
Prepare for it
Don't worry about it

I quickly started asking people if they posted it to my wall and everyone I asked said they didn't. The saying is very true and I liked it but I wanted to know who thought I was stressing out and why. Of course I was not following the directions on my wall.

So today, I read my saying and enjoyed the message and decided I might never know who put it there and that was ok.

But, this afternoon the mystery was solved. It turns out that Chest had put it up there. I never even thought about asking him if he had done it. That is just the sweetest thing. I took it down tonight to bring it home and write about it on my blog, but I'm going to put it back up on the wall and keep it there and read it several times a day. I told him I was going to write about this on my blog and he said my blog was what inspired him to put it up there.

Wow, I really am a stress case. I think I need to change my web site to "freakdogk.com".  ¶ 7:48 PM

  Friday Night

One week from today will be my last day of work before the trip. This time next week HB and I will be packing and doing last minute things for the trip. I can't believe it is right around the corner.

Tonight I was supposed to go biking with HB, Chest and Kitty. Today ended up being a rough day at the office. Almost everyone I know had a trying time. What's really weird was that last week was Friday the 13th and we kept thinking "Why didn't this all happen last week when it was Friday the 13th?"

In the middle of the day, I asked M if she wanted to go walking after work. That's what we did. We had great talks and laughs and got some exercise as well. There is this great trail right along the railroad tracks. I noticed so many things I had never seen before. There were so many baby trees, some of them were in bloom so that's maybe why it seemed like I had never seen them before. There were so many birds out and about as well.

Speaking of birds, I really want to see Winged Migration. You must check out the web site. I haven't seen the movie yet, but M has and it sounds like a lot of fun and the web site is so much fun! Anyway, so M and I went for a walk and then we ordered Pete's to go and picked up a bottle of wine. We went to my apartment and watched 3 episodes of SATC from the fourth season. They were all with the director's commentary. I love that stuff. He points out so many things you would miss.

I just got home and Chest and HB were watching duh duh (Law and Order).

Right now Chest and HB are playing video games. They just asked me what I was doing. I told them I was blogging and Chester said, "A blog is the opposite of a diary. You are writing to many people about your thoughts and experiences, where in a diary you're writing to yourself."

I said I was going to quote him in my blog.  ¶ 11:54 PM

  Too busy to Blog

Momma Cat Care, Addresses for post cards, calling friends to say last good byes, cleaning the house for the house guests, shopping online, making hostel reservations, emailing relatives....

I always get so mad at people for being stressed out about something like going on a vacation or decorating a house, etc.. Basically when people complain about being stressed out about doing fun things. Now I'm kinda one of those people. I'm not totally stressed about planning the trip, mostly about small details like "what am I going to bring to wear?" "is it all going to fit in my bag?" and "what else do I need to shop online for?" I think it's a combination between planning the trip and all the planning at work. I think because I'm a project manager I feel like all I'm doing is planning 24/7. I guess I do like it at some level. I like having my lists and staying organized. I guess I just feel like everytime I mark one thing off my list, I add three more things. It's the same way at work. I used to tell myself I couldn't leave work until I finished everything on my to do list. It took me a while but I finally learned I would never be fully caught up and have everything off my to do list. It's all about staying in the moment and not having any regrets about the past or fears about the future. It's weird how I learn that lesson and then easily forget and go right back to where I was before stressing about everything I have to do. I need a constant reminder to stay in the present moment.

At this morment right now, I'm excited about the weekend, well I guess that isn't this exact moment but it's close enough. This weekend is Live Oak. I can't wait. This will be my fourth year in a row going to Live Oak. Live Oak has become something I look forward to all year long, even more than Christmas. I love it so much I'm going to Live Oak instead of a friend's wedding this weekend. I'm looking forward to hanging out at camp Happy Face, listening to awesome music outside under the oaks, watching kids run around with ties dies and squirt guns, reading the book Marya loaned me, hanging out with HB and M and lots of good friends, eating good food, drinking beer and being away from all my lists.   ¶ 11:17 PM

  Momma Cat Care Instructions


Food

• Feed Momma one scoop of food in the morning and one scoop at night (extra food can be found in the closet by the front door)


• Momma will wake you up around 5:00AM in the morning for food by rubbing her head against the night stand. I haven’t been able to train her out of this habit.

What Momma Likes

• Momma likes the blinds on the porch door opened so she can look out


• Momma likes to sit in the window looking out to the porch with the window open slightly


• Momma likes attention only when you are deep into doing something else


• Momma LOVES to be brushed


• Momma loves to run up and down the stairs and rub her head against shoes

Misc

• Please do not feed her people food, she is on a diet


• If Momma is scratching up furniture, biting your ankles as you run up the stairs, ripping up purse, or meowing non stop, you may use the spray bottle for discipline.

  ¶ 6:00 PM

  Trip Stuff

Because the trip is all I'm thinking about right now, my blog will mostly consist of trip preparations. I'm working through lunch today to call bill companies and make sure I won't get a bunch of late fees once we get back. Yesterday I went shopping for the last item I need to buy. I wanted some shoes. I wanted something that would be easy to slip on and off for the bus, something warm and waterproof, and something that I could walk around in snow with. Also, something a little nicer than hiking boots if we happen to go somewhere nice with the relatives. I went to Takkens and found the perfect shoe (it's the black jungle moc). The only problem is HB has the exact same pair. I called him from the shoe shop to make sure he was ok with it. He said yes so I bought them. I told the guy helping me what I did and he said that was nice of me. I just don't want to be like those older couples who wear matching jogging outfits and I thought HB might be embarrassed about something like that. So, now I have my shoes (that match HB's heehee) and now the next decision is if I should just bring those or bring the hiking boots as well.   ¶ 12:47 PM

  I love Spinning

Spin class that is, not spinning records. I started taking a spin class at my old gym about 2 years ago. I love it. Loud music with a hella tight beat to keep your mind off your burning muscles. You don't really have to think about climbing the hill, you just find the beat and stick to it. The energy in a spin class is so amazing. Usually there are about 10 - 12 people per class. Each instructor has a little different style; there is the teacher that doesn't say much, the teacher that applies spinning to real biking, the teacher that motivates you to keep going and the teachers that play great music. I'm really enjoying the instructors at the new gym. One Sunday morning the instructor had us guess who sang the song and everyone was yelling out guesses and singing along with cheesy eighties music. That may not sound fun to most people, but it was to me. The people taking the class at the new gym I'm at are all close friends. I'm not really part of the group and at first I felt a little left out, but it's ok now. They mostly met in spin class so it's not like they are a big group of friends that decided to take the class together. This morning in class, it was the instructor's last class as a single guy. He's getting married this weekend and his fiance was sitting in the front row. His mom is in the class every week. How cute is that? I think I've decided that even though I'm going on a budget, I want to keep the gym membership. Even though I only recently started going again and I really only go for the spin class. I think it's worth it.

  ¶ 10:54 PM

  Weekend Update

What a fun weekend. Pudah and Bob arrived Thursday afternoon from their backpacking adventure in Big Sur. They told us all the details that night over Pizza and beer. I'm so glad they made it back safe and sound. Friday night HB and I took them out for a night on the town and ended up stopping by Linnea's to hear Billy and Lewis playing. The highlight of the show for me was when they invitied HB up to do a guitar solo. Saturday we went out to Los Osos for brunch at the Garden Cafe and went to the orchid greenhouse to pick out an orchid for Pudah's birthday which is tomorrow.

Right now it's Sunday afternoon and I'm trying to get a little work done. Momma is outside sunning herself in the cutest way. We are leaving in 4 weeks and my head doesn't stop spinning with lists of things to do. People to call, bills to cancel, hostel reservations in NZ, traveler's checks, etc... I think we are going for a bike ride tonight so that will help mellow me out.   ¶ 12:26 PM